7-4-09

Happy 4th of July. I hate my life.





I'm mad at my dad. See, last night my dad got really mad after Janaka tried to talk him into it...he apparently left the house...>> So, I knew that we had no chance in h-word to go. I tried earlier to convince him by telling him that I'd get up super extra early to weed in the garden. I even asked him "Would you like coffee at 5, or 5:30?" At some point, I even told him to meet me at 6 to show me how to put up the bean poles...>> But he didn't believe I'd do it. He said to my little sister when she was trying to convince him "She won't do it, she'll wake up, tell us to 'have fun with that' and as soon as we get ready, she'll pour herself a bowl of cereal. Then dilly dally until it's too hot to work."

Despite that there was no real reason to go out there, I decided to prove my dad wrong by getting up anyway, and working in the garden. I set my alarm (this is like 1:00am and I'm still sick)and try to go to sleep. Takes me forever to get to sleep, but I manage. I wake up and it's 6:05am. I shut off my alarm, get dressed, grab my iPod, and head outside. I get the gloves from my mom's car, and head to the garden as quiet as I can so as not to wake anyone. I get out to the garden, survey the things that need weeding, and settle on something I can identify as a plant, so I don't accidentally pull up what I'm trying to save. Anyway, It's like zucchini or squash or something. I start on one end, and work to the other. These are pretty long rows, so it took me about 2 hours. But before the 2 hours were completely up, my dad comes around.(I started working at 6:15am, he came around 8:00am) When I see that he's there, I start to get this sense of pride, thinking that Dad is going to be happy with me because I did this, and he didn't think I could, but I can! I tell him that he's about 2 hours late. (I told him to meet me at 6) He says, "What are you working on?" and I motion at the weeded plant behind me (because you know, it wasn't OBVIOUS ¬_¬. and then he says "You're wasting your time..." My pride just drops into the lowest point in the universe. D: "...You don't need to do ALL of this (motions) just, look at me, just this much away from the plant." I couldn't believe it. I woke up at 6 to do this, I'm SICK, got maybe 4 hours of sleep, worked in the MUD, KNOWING that we weren't going on the trip, and all he has to say to me is that I'm doing it wrong?!

I cried the next hour and a half away. I cried when I finally finished, I cried in the shower. I cried on my way to the coffee shop that I went to because Matt was working (I stayed there for 2 hours, the best part of today. The only good thing that happened, actually.). I cried when I told him the story. I cried when I told my mom after I got home. I cried when I decided to take a nap. And I'm starting to tear up now just retelling the story.

I don't even want to look at my father right now.

I still can't believe he did that. My arms hurt in a weird way from weeding too. I can't really explain it. It's not that they're sore, but they have this nagging sharp long pain, especially in my wrists.


And now I have a headache.