21 December 2015
That's how I feel right now.
I don't know if this makes any sense and I question how healthy it is, but I had a conversation with Matt that kind of offended me. Apparently I'm too easily offended...? That it was ridiculous that this thing that happened slightly offended me. It really caught me off guard and I'm kind of mad at him.
But in being mad, I'm hoping it breaks the cycle of want. It's better if I don't want to be with him. (I just hate that I can never get over a relationship unless I'm mad, UGH.)
At the same time, it's kind of freeing. It's like I don't feel like I'm stuck in the depths of sadness, but now I have enough frustrated energy to start climbing out of the pit.
Now, I tend to be a bit rash, so this may only last tonight. I may eventually begin to dwell on what we had, but I'm hoping that this "Ugh, what a jerK" feeling lasts long enough to push that desire out of my daily thoughts and nightly dreams. I have so many other things to do with myself (that I'm terribly behind on) that feeling sorry for myself is getting in the way of! Tsk!
Breakups are terrible. The recovery time feels like such a waste of time. I don't regret my time with him, and I wish it had worked out because we did have a lot of fun together. But being offended by something automatically deems me as too easily offended AND it was MY fault for being offended? Um...Bro, heeeeck no.
I did tell him if I offended him somehow that I apologize and would appreciate his apology for offending me because he did.
He has no responded...so I guess he can't swallow his pride. Welllll alrghty then! Goodnight!